Ok, I’m a little late on this. But a recent podcast listing the same thing had me in stitches. So, here’s my list:
1. I just did a FART-LEK, Ha Ha , you said Fart-Lek
2. I hammered that hill, dude.
3. I saved 2 mins peeing on the bike
4. “Can’t take vacation that weekend, dear, I gotta triathlon”
5. “I just won my age-group honey, feeling frisky?”
6. I hope she gets a scholarship, because I just spent the last of the college fund on a new bike.
7. You got a crack-pipe I can borrow for my disc.
8. Go hard or go home!
9. HTFU (i.e Harden The F*ck Up)
10. Another M-dot tattoo, so original?!
11. Sandbagger, that dude used to be a pro..Now he racing age-group.
12. I got a mega brick this weekend.
13. I love my Infinit
14. You don’t need a bathroom, Just change clothes wrapped in a towel
15. I hate latex caps, you gotta use silicone
16. Better put Body-Glide on the hot spots
17. Awesome, it’s going to be wetsuit legal
18. I love to see newbies, but man do they put a bunch of crap on their bikes..Took that sleek bike and added 10 pounds.
19. Be courageous, race without a flat kit.
20. I love training and racing with a power meter
21. This is a “C” race, but man I can’t just go easy!
22. You qualified for KONA, yet?
23. You doing Escape from Alcatraz?
24. I’m going sockless
25. Tubular or Clincher?
26. You gotta shave those legs, may save you seconds?! Ha.
27. What’s your FTP?
28. How can that guy race in a speedo? Must be a eunuch.
29. Dude, I just got chicked.
30. He got Lanced.
31. Did you see the new P5? I’d sell my car for that thing.
32. “I got a tri club meeting”
33. I’m most proud of my 140.6 day!
34. Do you wear a one piece or two piece?
35. Slowtwitch is my favorite
36. Quick transitions are free speed
37. I don’t mind paying for speed.
38. What pool toys do you use?
39. What’s the Crr of those tires?
40. I love my S-bends.
41. My first Ironman was painful, but I can’t wait to sign up for that again.
There’s lots more, but I’m running into sleep time. Enjoy. Feel free to add your own.